Jabba the Hut Impersonator Roger Ailes: Jon Stewart Told Me He’s a Socialist

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, Roger Ailes went to a cantin- I mean “a bar”. And in that “bar” he met Hans So- I mean, Jon Stewart. The two beer-bonded and in that moment of alcohonesty, Stewart confessed to Ailes that, yes Virginia, he is basically a socialist. According to […]

Pennsylvania Governor, Tom Corbett, On Ultrasound Mandate: Just ‘Close Your Eyes’

Some people have eyes in the back of their heads, and women apparently have eyes in the vaginas according to Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett. Gov. Corbett took some questions and answers during a discussion of the new mandatory ultrasound Pennsylvania bill that is similar to the now mostly defunct Virginia preemptive-pole-up-your-pooter bill. According to the […]

Breitbart’s Loesch: Virginia ‘State-Sponsored Rape’ is ‘Consensual Sex’

In case you missed it on Friday, because honestly, I missed it on Friday, CNN contributor and Andrew Breitbart blogger Dana Loesch decided to throw her diaphragm in the ring and explain to us all how the Virginia “State-Sponsored Rape” bill is really not rape. Instead it is actually just consensual sex. In fact, it’s […]

Ron Paul’s 55th Wedding Anniversary: Yes, Virginia, There Really is a Politician with Family Values!

Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul yesterday celebrated his 55th wedding anniversary with his FIRST, and only wife, Carolyn Paul. As a special reward for his loyal wife of five and a half decades, Congressman Paul surprised her with a little early morning sausage. “I said that she could sleep in and I provided her breakfast,” […]