Super Committee Official Statement of Failure

“After months of hard work and intense deliberations, we have come to the conclusion today that it will not be possible to make any bipartisan agreement available to the public before the committee’s deadline. “Despite our inability to bridge the committee’s significant differences, we end this process united in our belief that the nation’s fiscal […]

EPIC FAIL: Super Committee Inflicts Economic Waterboarding

Remember that Super Committee that was going to save the greatest country in the world from another epic economic collapse while demonstrating true bipartisan camaraderie and teaching us all the meaning of fiscal responsibility? You know, the one that, if it failed to cut the deficit by $1.2tn, the metaphorical gun-to-our-heads would go off and […]

Congress: A Dead Bird and a Dingle-berry

I have come up with an image of Congress based on the news lately. For anyone who’s ever had a cat, you’re probably familiar with this one. Imagine if you will a cat trotting into the house carrying a dead bird in its mouth and a dingle-berry on its ass. It expects you to be […]

Highly Caffeinated But Completely Sober Rep. Joe Walsh Yells at Constituents

We’ve all experienced them. Heck, I admit it, I’ve been one of them – the drunk annoying ahole at the bar screaming at people to shut up and “LISTEN! Damn it! Fiscal conservativism wooould n-never work on ship like Cloud 9, you fracking idiot! So shshshshut it!” So I could totally understand when I first […]

2011 Surviving the Recession Mortgage Purgatory GOP Meltdown Feel Good Yin/Yang Symbol Happy Face!!!

Yin “Sad Face” side symbolizing it’s okay to feel utter dismay over the apparently nonstop downward spiral of the economy and just stuff in general. Yang “Happy Face” side symbolizing attitude of, “Hey, pal! Buck up! Be grateful it isn’t worse! Remember good old US ingenuity has gotten us through many a mess, plus — Bin Laden, DONE!! Gaddafi, OVER!! Whaddaya want already?!! Have a nice day!! Sheesh!

The F***ing Marines Are Coming To Occupy Wall Street

You read it right. THE Marines are coming to Wall Street. The ones that took an oath to protect America. And apparently these guys take it seriously! Granted many may not be active duty but you know what they say, “Once a Marine, always a Marine.” Actually, do they say that? Just seems fitting. They […]

Job Opening for Job Act Title Writer with Rep. Louie Gohmert

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) hasn’t officially opened any new positions within his offices in regards to writing titles for job acts, but if the name of his recent job act is any indication he might need some help. Gohmert introduced today his “American Jobs Act” — not to be confused with President Obama’s “American Jobs […]

Epic Fail: USPS Is Nearing Default

In the epic battle for mail delivery, the snails are getting their arses kicked, evidently. And by snails, I’m not just referring to the delivery of the mail (hey, UPS and FedEx are fine). I’m referring to the bureaucrats in our government who can’t seem to navigate their way out of a paper bag, or […]

Our Guide to the Best Coverage on Rep. Michele Bachmann and Her Record

by Marian Wang ProPublica, Aug. 24, 2011, 12:21 p.m. This is the latest installment in a series of reading guides on 2012 presidential candidates. We’ve also covered Texas Gov. Rick Perry [1] and Congressman Ron Paul [2]. The basics: Though she certainly has a challenger [1] in Texas Gov. Rick Perry, Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann […]

Goldman Sachs Vampire in Darrell Issa Camp

After sucking the life out of our near-death economy nearly four years ago, former Goldman Sachs executive vampires are on the loose. One in particular has nested in the camp of Darrell Issa, the Republican congressman from California. And this one is a crafty one. He goes by the name of Peter Haller and he […]