Republicans Implement Plan To Suppress Women Voters

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With female support for Republicans waning, the GOP is pledging to enforce tougher voting regulations for women this election season. “They already set up these roadblocks to keep African Americans and Latinos from turning out to vote in states like South Carolina, Florida and Ohio,” laments Democratic strategist Karen Watts. “That human strap-on dildo, Todd [...]

Spin Doctor Pat Robertson Explains Tornadoes

Spin Doctor Pat Robertson Explains Tornados

Tornadoes are serious business. And with the recent deadly outbreaks of tornadoes it’s no wonder that people are searching for answers as to why this has happened. In a new segment for the 700 Club “Pat Robertson Explains Tornadoes,” Don from Illinois asked Robertson, “Why did God send the tornadoes?” Robertson had this to say: God [...]

Stephen Colbert, Herman Cain Rally for Votes in South Carolina

Stephen Colbert, Herman Cain Rally for Votes in South Carolina

It might be the first time ever that someone actually told a throng of rally-goers NOT to vote for them for president of the United States … of South Carolina. That’s just what Herman Cain did on Friday after Stephen Colbert spent the first seven plus minutes of their joint rally at the College of [...]

Quote of the day: Newt Gingrich, “Hold on a minute. Let me concentrate.”

Quote of the day - Newt Gingrich Hold on a minute Let me concentrate

In an outdoor town hall meeting Friday afternoon, attendees were in a state of bewilderment shortly after Newt Gingrich took 53 seconds to answer a question. What followed next put everyone in a state of confusion, including the news media. The question came from a South Carolina college freshman. He asked what Gingrich’s policy would [...]

Mitt Romney: Put A Fence Around It

Mitt Romney

During the CNN Republican Presidential Debate in South Carolina, frontrunner Mitt Romney detailed his complex and nuanced plan for stopping illegal immigration, ”It’s simple. Build a fence.” Mitt Romney went on to explain other topics in a similar fashion: John King (Debate Moderator): Mr. Romney, Osama Bin Laden is now dead and Al Qaeda is on the ropes [...]

Rick Perry Out, Taps Newt Gingrich’s Ass

Rick Perry Out Taps Newt Gingrichs Ass

Rick Perry has officially taken his ass out of the 2012 presidential race and tapped the ass of Newt Gingrich. Yes, we know that donkeys are typically associated with the Democratic Party, but we are simply using the term “ass” in the sense that they are domestic horselike mammals that are often entered into races. [...]

Mitt Romney’s Presidential Campaign Ruined Because He Spoke French Once

Mitt Romney is a Frenchman!

Newt Gingrich, self-proclaimed legitimate Presidential candidate, has been flexing his muscles in South Carolina by attacking the current Republican frontrunner Mitt Romney. It has proven difficult to attack Romney on the basis of political platform and policy because frankly people don’t care about that. But there is one thing that Newt knows everyone in America [...]

Stephen Colbert is Officially Running For President?!

Stephen Colbert is Officially Running For President

After handing over control of his Super PAC, Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow, to friend and lead-in Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert set the major media outlets on fire on Thursday as they began reporting that Stephen Colbert is officially exploring the possibility of running for President: “I am proud to announce that I am [...]

The Caucus has Spoken, Romney Crowned King of Iowa

The Caucus has Spoken Romney Crowned King of Iowa

After the all night political bender that was the Iowa caucuses, the world is finally allowed to rest. For the Iowans have selected their President and that man is Mitt Romney. With a late push, Mr. Romney took a commanding lead over Rick Santorum in the mid-west state that is fairly east and held that [...]

Requiring a Photo-ID to Vote is Ludicrous, Vladimir Putin Agrees

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In several states, across this multicultural land of ours, a new law would require a certified government-issued piece of photo identification be presented when you vote in 2012.  The minority community has collectively gasped in horror.  To them, the audacity of these states to pass such blatant anti-minority legislation is reminiscent of Jim Crow laws.  [...]