Rick Santorum Drops Out: Comedy Writers Crestfallen

Presidential hopeful Rick Santorum has dropped out of the presidential race, triggering a wave of despair among not only Santorum supporters, but also political comedy writers. “He said he was in this thing for the long haul,” lamented one Daily Show writer, “I’ve got a kid to feed.” With Rick Santorum out of the race, […]

Rick Santorum: Friends Don’t Let Friends Use Pink Balls

Rick Santorum is terrified of pink bowling balls particularly in the hands of young boys especially when they might be caught on camera during a photo opt with the Republican presidential candidate. During a campaign stop at a Wisconsin bowling alley, Santorum bravely saved a young man who dared to grab one of the wicked […]

Santorum for Dummies: Obama Allowed ‘Slaughter’ of Iran Protesters

We are going to attempt the impossible: translating Santorum. Before you say it! We’re not translating the meaning of the word “Santorum.” We all know what that means. We are going to attempt to translate Santorum’s actual words. I know, right?! We’re crazy like that. While discussing the 2006 Iran Freedom and Support Act at […]

Santorum’s Plan to Harm Impoverished Women Revealed

Rick Santorum, hater of women, standing on some hay to look folksy. It is well documented that Rick Santorum hates women. Especially women who don’t constantly have babies. Santorum has stated in several speeches and interviews that birth control doesn’t work and that it “is harmful to women” and the country. However, in a recent […]

Rick Santorum: Pretty Ricky Do-or-Die

Image via Wikipedia Rick Santorum: Pretty Ricky Do-or-Die It’s officially do-or-die time for Santorum (urr, yeah, he’s still running), and he needs to win two of these three races (Colorado, Minnesota, and Missouri) to keep his White House chances alive. While the races in Colorado, Minnesota, and Missouri haven’t received the same kind of attention […]

RICK SANTORUM – The Other White Meat

Hanover, NH: Buoyed by his strong showing in the Iowa Caucus, former Pennsylvania Senator and kind of whacky Rick Santorum feels good about his chances for capturing the Republican nomination for president in 2012. “I think real conservatives want an alternative to the logic and experience of a Mitt Romney, quite frankly it’s boring,” says […]

Rick Santorum Compares Homosexuality to Polygamy and Reveals His Own Forbidden Love

While speaking to the 2012 College Convention in Concord, New Hampshire, presidential hopeful Rick Santorum engaged in a heated debate with students over the issue of gay marriage. Mr. Santorum, craftily engaging the Socratic Method, asked mind melting questions like, “So anyone can marry anyone else? Anyone can marry…several people?” and “So if everyone has […]

Rick Santorum Wants You on his Santorum Sedan, Or Else!

Recent Gallup Poll numbers for GOP Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum aren’t looking good. With Newt Gingrich leading with 31% and Romney still holding steady at 23%, Rick Santorum still flounders with only 4% of people supporting him for a run against President Obama in 2012. Monday, in an interview on Phoenix conservative radio station KRNG, […]

Rick Santorum Needs A True Conservative Man Makeover

Rick Santorum’s Super PAC has released a pro-Rick (‘prick’ for short) campaign ad that will be aired in Iowa next week, painting the presidential hopeful as a “true conservative.” The Super PAC that released the 30-second ad, Red White and Blue Fund, has put $200,000 up for Mr. Santorum. The hope is that this ad […]

Rick Santorum: Expand DADT to Include Heterosexuals

Stephen Hill, a soldier in Iraq who, up until this week, could not legally “tell” anyone about his sexual orientation because if he did he would be fired, asked former Senator and current GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum where Mr. Santorum stood on this week’s repeal of the military‘s Don’t Ask Don’t Tell policy. After […]