Undecided Republican Voters Experiencing Memory Loss

Undecided Republican Voters Experiencing Memory Loss

The Republican Primary is all but officially a two elephant race. With Mitt Romney and Newt Gingrich as the only legitimate candidates for the nomination, a distressing phenomenon has developed in undecided Republican voters. I call it Mitt-Induced-Memory-Loss or “MIML”. The cause of MIML is simple; no one likes Mitt Romney. He’s like a charisma-less [...]

Nancy Pelosi: But I Won’t Do…That?

Nancy Pelosi - But I Won't Do That

Does anyone remember the singer Meat Loaf’s song: I Would Do Anything For Love? In that song Meat Loaf proclaims,”I would do anything for love…but I won’t do that?” but we (the listener) could never figure out the cryptic message of what exactly “it” was he wouldn’t do? Much like the point of this last [...]

Newt Gingrich Wants Mitt Romney to Pay Zero Taxes

Newt Gingrich Wants Mitt Romney to Pay Zero Taxes

During Monday’s Republican debate at the University of South Florida in Tampa, Florida, Newt Gingrich proposed with his new tax plan that Mitt Romney pay NO taxes at all, whatsoever. You heard right. Romney was a bit perplexed at first and asked, “Mr. Speaker, is that tax on capital gains also 15% or is it [...]

Quote of the day: Newt Gingrich, “Hold on a minute. Let me concentrate.”

Quote of the day - Newt Gingrich Hold on a minute Let me concentrate

In an outdoor town hall meeting Friday afternoon, attendees were in a state of bewilderment shortly after Newt Gingrich took 53 seconds to answer a question. What followed next put everyone in a state of confusion, including the news media. The question came from a South Carolina college freshman. He asked what Gingrich’s policy would [...]

Rick Perry Out, Taps Newt Gingrich’s Ass

Rick Perry Out Taps Newt Gingrichs Ass

Rick Perry has officially taken his ass out of the 2012 presidential race and tapped the ass of Newt Gingrich. Yes, we know that donkeys are typically associated with the Democratic Party, but we are simply using the term “ass” in the sense that they are domestic horselike mammals that are often entered into races. [...]

Mitt Romney’s Presidential Campaign Ruined Because He Spoke French Once

Mitt Romney is a Frenchman!

Newt Gingrich, self-proclaimed legitimate Presidential candidate, has been flexing his muscles in South Carolina by attacking the current Republican frontrunner Mitt Romney. It has proven difficult to attack Romney on the basis of political platform and policy because frankly people don’t care about that. But there is one thing that Newt knows everyone in America [...]

Election Season Hypnosis

Mel Reacts to the Latest GOP Presidential Campaign Update

Mel Reacts to the Latest GOP Presidential Campaign Update

Newt Gingrich Goes #OWS on Fox And Friends

Newt Gingrich Goes Occupy Wall Street on Fox And Friends

Newt Gingrich who once infamously told the Occupy Wall Street protesters to “Go get a job right after you take a bath” has now taken up the OWS mantra, although, let’s be honest, he’s way to prideful to understand that it is the OWS mantra that he has taken. While Newt’s head is massive and [...]

Mitt Romney: MEX-HE-CAN!

Mitt Romney - MEX-HE-CAN

It’s a little known fact that in the spring of 1885, Mitt Romney’s great grandfather, Miles Park Romney, moved the kids, the dogs, and his four wives from Utah to Mexico.  It wasn’t a timeshare, margaritas, or even spring break that was calling him – although Miles did love pussy.  No, it turns out the [...]

Newt Gingrich Doesn’t Know his Radical Presidents, Do You?

Obama Saul Alinsky Radical

Recently the great historian Newt Gingrich has been on the campaign trail proclaiming Barack Obama to be the “most radical president in American history.” He’s even dubbed Obama a “Saul Alinsky radical” which would place President Obama in the same category as Cesar Chavez (UFW), Wade Rathke (ACORN), Hillary Clinton, Dick Armey, James O’Keefe and [...]