Numb and Number(er)

Now that the Republican ticket is receiving free government protection from the Secret Service (don’t worry, I’m sure they’ll cut off that expense when they win), the candidates have been given code names. What’s your pick? Mine are “The President” and “Altar Boy.” Let’s face it, Romney looks like Joe President (slightly stiff) action figure. […]

Fox & Friends Produces Scary Obama Attack Ad Showing Suicidal Piggy Banks

It’s four minutes of complete propaganda and rhetoric in the midst of three hours of complete propaganda and rhetoric. But this time, it’s different. Fox & Friends actually aired a four minute Obama “attack ad” that they produced. Why are folks calling it an attack ad? Well, because they used scary, ominous things like Mission […]

Washington Times Jeffrey Kuhner: LGBT People Are “Worse Than the Radical Islamists”

New Evidence from Jeffrey Kuhner Suggests Glitter Bombs Are More Dangerous Than Real Bombs Apparently getting glittered bombed is so like way worse than getting actually bombed with like real bomby bombs and stuff. Because see, according to Jeffrey Kuhner, columnist for the Washington Times, the LBGT community is “even worse than the radical Islamists.” His […]

Newt Gingrich, Now It’s Time to Say Goodbye

Well everyone,  “Napping Newt” had to finally wake up, and before I begin this article I wanted to give him a real send off…(clearing my throat)…Ok, sing it with me (Mickey mouse club show theme music please): Who’s the leader of the club that embarrassed the G.O.P? N-E-W, T-G-I, N-G-R-I-C-H Newt Gingrich! (Mitt Romney) Newt […]

Mel Succumbs to Mitt Romnarcolepsy

Mel succumbs to Mitt Romnarcolepsy as the seemingly endless G.O.P. presidential campaign sheds former frontrunner Newt Gingrich, in favor of (yawn) Mitt Romney.

Pride and Prejudice, and Political Zombies

He has ‘only the fondest of sentiments for sport’ and counts ‘amongst my closest friends several who own NASCAR teams.’ In all ways, he’s a proper gentleman about whom the only rumors are those of his wealth.  When chiding hecklers as to the personhood of corporations, he calls them “friend.” On a vigorous run, hardly […]

The GOP Political Race: The Almost FLOTUS Behind The Possible POTUS:

The life of politicians Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, Mitt Romney, and Rick Santorum has always had an intense spotlight focused on their every move, but rarely does that light ever shine on the women in their lives yet as the saying goes, “Behind every great man is a great woman.”; and so we ask the […]

God Hints He May Run for Republican Nomination

With Super Tuesday showing no clear winner yet in the Republican primaries, God has signaled that he may throw his hat in the ring for the nomination at the Republican National Convention. While former pronouncements from the Almighty have taken the form of burning bushes or stone tablets, God’s most recent announcement came via his […]

An Interview with GOP Frontrunner Mitt Romney

We caught up with Governor Romney at GM’s former Detroit home office, the Cadillac Place. RT: Thank you, Governor Romney, for sitting down with us.  Congratulations on your big wins in Arizona and Michigan.  Are you back to being “inevitable” again? MR: Yes, if only because the GOP has no real alternative.  I mean, have you […]

G.O.P. Presidential Candidate Math Quiz