Mitt Romney: Put A Fence Around It

During the CNN Republican Presidential Debate in South Carolina, frontrunner Mitt Romney detailed his complex and nuanced plan for stopping illegal immigration, “It’s simple. Build a fence.” Mitt Romney went on to explain other topics in a similar fashion: John King (Debate Moderator): Mr. Romney, Osama Bin Laden is now dead and Al Qaeda is on the ropes […]

Iowa: Exit Stage Right

In her article “Feel Free to Ignore Iowa” in the New York Times last week, Gail Collins made a very strong argument as to why Iowa doesn’t matter in the overall political panorama as much as the media likes to make it seem.  However, as much as we may wish that this statement was true, […]

U.S. Economy Rebounding at the Expense of American Chimpanzees

With signs of the economy starting to show improvement, Americans are looking to the federal government to help stimulate opportunities in the job market.  Which is why it came as a shock yesterday when the National Institute of Health announced that it will no longer finance new medical research which involves an already hard-hit segment […]

American Drones Need New Alibis

So, Iran has captured an American spy drone.  The unmanned vehicle was either brought down (says Iran) or malfunctioned (says the U.S.).  Either way, the Iranian government is now parading the thing across its news outlets as if it were the winner of Iran’s “X Factor”. American officials have said, “Yep, we lost the thing […]

Crazed Apes Escape Penn State Zoo After Hearing of Firing of Joe Paterno, Head Lion Trainer

Thousands of screaming chimpanzees with smart phones in hand escaped the local zoo in Centre County, Pennsylvania today after apparently being startled by loud noises coming from a multitude of electronic devices surrounding them saying that a head lion trainer, Joe Paterno, had been fired. The situation was truly bizarre as nearly 2,000 chimpanzees escaped […]

Herman Cain Claims Koch Brothers’ Father Knocked Up His Mamma

“I am the Koch Bros. brother from another mother!” professed Cain to a cheering crowd of ultraviolet-skinned brothers and sisters at the Americans for Prosperity Foundation gathering on Friday. The admission must have been liberating for Cain. All those interviews denying any real relationship with the Koch Bros. All those years of not being able […]

MF Global Ad: ‘We Have Convictions’

by Marian Wang ProPublica, Nov. 4, 2011, 2:19 p.m. A perusal of the latest issue of Barron’s turned up the following ad for brokerage firm MF Global: (If you are having trouble seeing the image, click here [1].) Somehow the ad, published Saturday, reads a little differently now, in light of recent events [2]: Though no […]

Epic Fail: USPS Is Nearing Default

In the epic battle for mail delivery, the snails are getting their arses kicked, evidently. And by snails, I’m not just referring to the delivery of the mail (hey, UPS and FedEx are fine). I’m referring to the bureaucrats in our government who can’t seem to navigate their way out of a paper bag, or […]

Our Guide to the Best Coverage of Ron Paul and His Record

Three-time presidential candidate Ron Paul is consistently disregarded by the media, a point made recently by comedian Jon Stewart [2] and confirmed by a Pew Research Center [3] analysis [3]of news coverage.

Goldman Sachs Vampire in Darrell Issa Camp

After sucking the life out of our near-death economy nearly four years ago, former Goldman Sachs executive vampires are on the loose. One in particular has nested in the camp of Darrell Issa, the Republican congressman from California. And this one is a crafty one. He goes by the name of Peter Haller and he […]