Herman Cain! You’ve Got Some Splainin’ To Do!

Ever since Ginger White dropped the 13-year affair bomb, Herman Cain just hasn’t had time to talk face to face with wifey. He told reporters, according to the New York Daily News that “Since I’ve been campaigning all week, I haven’t had the opportunity to sit down with her.” Excuse me, mister? (clears throat) Haven’t […]

Inappropriate Songs We Hope Jimmy Fallon Will Play For Presidential Candidates

So, NBC apologized for playing “Lyin’ Ass Bitch” as Michele Bachmann walked out on to the Jimmy Fallon stage. Meanwhile, the rest of us turned pink with something akin to the glee of a newborn baby.  It was so fun, we’re hoping they do it again.  Here are some suggestions: Michele Bachmann:  Nirvana – “All […]

Herman Cain Tweets the Definition of Reassessing

In case you’re too stupid to know what the word “reassessing” means, Herman Cain  whipped out the twictionary today to explain it to you. From THEHermainCain: “Team HC: The definition of reassess is: To consider again, esp. while paying attention to new factors. Doesn’t sound like dropping out…” Got that? It doesn’t “sound like” dropping […]

Herman Cain: A Dick That Can Get Things Done

On Monday, a Georgia woman, Ginger White, told a Fox affiliate that she had engaged in a 13-year long affair with presidential hopeful Herman Cain. White, 46, claims that Herman Cain flew her around the country on several occasions and has proof of the alleged affair. Mr. Cain’s immediate response was, “Here we go again. […]

A GOP Charlie Brown Thanksgiving by Jimmy Kimmel

Thanksgiving can be a stressful holiday. All the preparations involved, the planning, the poultry, the pressure cookers – AKA the dinner table. It’s enough to drive anyone to fork their dinner neighbor in the leg while lunging for the last drop of stuffing left on the table. Now imagine your holiday dinner with your favorite […]

An LGBT Thanksgiving With Michele Bachmann

The other night I mixed some Dayquil with some pinot noir.  Big mistake.  I dreamed that I was at an NRA rally…dressed as a deer.  Ted Nugent chased me through a forest.  I’m still having flashbacks.So, this family holiday, DON’T mix your meds.  You could end up dreaming that you are Helen Lafave – the […]

Ron Paul: I’ll Haunt Your Prostate, Free Bananas!

Watch out for your prostates, men! And not because of the glow in the dark urethra beaming out of your pants. That’s just radiation or cancer or whatever. No, you need to be on the lookout now for Ron Paul who, according to Bad Lip Reading, wants to haunt your prostate! We all thought this […]

So You Want to Be President Board Game

Only Real Americans need apply! Fill out E-Z Form Birth Certificate. At debates, repeat canned patriotic applause lines. Make cornball speeches at county fairs. Go on a bus tour. And much more! The Truth About Cats: Notes From The Feline Underbelly (Volume 1) Now available on Amazon!

Tebow magic … an Obama Christmas … more free time for Bill

Every time Tim Tebow scores a touchdown, an angel gets its wings. … With unemployment at 9 percent, Obama must go door-to-door on Christmas morning. “Look, kid, sorry Santa didn’t bring you that train set, but I gave your daddy’s job to a 14-year-old Chinese kid.” … Chuck Todd is lucky to have his an […]

Pelosi Slams Perry, Gov Hurts, Cain Speaks Cuban

Nancy Pelosi shows signs of horrible genetic mutation that leads to deficiencies in three things: making lists, debating, and … oops! Watch out! Don’t confuse Max Baucus, the senator exposed in Peter Schweizer’s new book Throw Them All Out: How Politicians and Their Friends Get Rich Off Insider Stock Tips, Land Deals, and Cronyism That […]