Stephen Colbert, Herman Cain Rally for Votes in South Carolina

Stephen Colbert, Herman Cain Rally for Votes in South Carolina

It might be the first time ever that someone actually told a throng of rally-goers NOT to vote for them for president of the United States … of South Carolina. That’s just what Herman Cain did on Friday after Stephen Colbert spent the first seven plus minutes of their joint rally at the College of [...]

Herman Cain Refuses to Leave America Alone, Starts Obnoxious Bus Tour

Herman Cain Bus Tour, 9-9-9 Plan

Herman Cain not being self-promoting. After a month of inexplicable absence from the political spotlight Herman Cain has returned in full force by announcing on “Hannity” that he will be launching a unique and not at all obnoxious bus tour to tout his grand unified theory of taxation summed up as the 9-9-9 tax plan. [...]

Herman Cain! You’ve Got Some Splainin’ To Do!

Herman Cain by Gage Skidmore

Ever since Ginger White dropped the 13-year affair bomb, Herman Cain just hasn’t had time to talk face to face with wifey. He told reporters, according to the New York Daily News that “Since I’ve been campaigning all week, I haven’t had the opportunity to sit down with her.” Excuse me, mister? (clears throat) Haven’t [...]

Herman Cain Tweets the Definition of Reassessing

Team HC: The definition of reassess is: To consider again, esp. while paying attention to new factors. Doesn't sound like dropping out...

In case you’re too stupid to know what the word “reassessing” means, Herman Cain  whipped out the twictionary today to explain it to you. From THEHermainCain: “Team HC: The definition of reassess is: To consider again, esp. while paying attention to new factors. Doesn’t sound like dropping out…” Got that? It doesn’t “sound like” dropping [...]

Herman Cain: How Do Speak Cuban?

Herman Cain - How Do Speak Cuban

While on a campaign stop in Miami’s Little Havana yesterday, the Most Interesting Man in the World, Herman Cain, took a moment to sample the local Cuban fare. Wanting to articulate his deep satisfaction with the quality of the food, Cain sought assistance in expressing himself. And considering he is fluent in Australian, Cain understood [...]

Herman Cain: The Beatles of Bullshit

Herman Cain Tongue Tied

In an Interview Monday with the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel editorial board, Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain was asked a question regarding Libya and instead of answering the question, he decided he would word-vomit all over the nice mahogany conference table. Since the actual transcripts and video are available ubiquitously, I have opted to translate the video [...]

Presidential Hopefuls, Contenders, and Wannabes. Not Currently Under Indictment.

Presidential Hopefuls Contenders and Wannabes Not Currently Under Indictment

As most of you know, there’s a presidential election next November. The rest of you are at home and you thought this was a porn site. Or you’re a government employee, in which case you’re at work and you thought this was a porn site. There will be many topics of debate- we’re in a [...]

Herman Cain Learns Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Stuck with an $800 Bill and a Crappy Mixed Tape

Herman Cain Learns - Hell Hath No Fury Like a Woman Stuck with an $800 Bill and a Crappy Mixed Tape

Just a day after accuser number four made her appearance on the national stage next to celebrity lawyer Gloria Allred claiming that Herman Cain went all TSA Agent on her on the way to Restaurant Association offices, a new woman has stepped forward with a truly bizarre accusation. Donna Donella, a former employee of the [...]

Cain’s Lies of Lust Are Cain’s Appeal

Cain’s Lies of Lust Are Cain’s Appeal

A new, fourth accuser has come forward with allegations that she was sexually harassed by GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain.  This speaks to what is most certainly a pattern for Cain, and paints a picture of a sordid history of a successful businessman, yet seems only to boost his campaign savvy.  The better he gets [...]

Herman Cain Claims Koch Brothers’ Father Knocked Up His Mamma

Herman Cain Accuses Koch Bros Father of Knocking Up His Mamma

“I am the Koch Bros. brother from another mother!” professed Cain to a cheering crowd of ultraviolet-skinned brothers and sisters at the Americans for Prosperity Foundation gathering on Friday. The admission must have been liberating for Cain. All those interviews denying any real relationship with the Koch Bros. All those years of not being able [...]