NSA Makes First Arrest In Cyber War On Terror and It’s One of Their Own

  The NSA has been secretly gathering information on people via social media outlets like Facebook and Twitter for the past six years through a top secret program. According to secret documents obtained by RestoringTruthiness, it appears the NSA has made their first arrest in the cyber war on terror and it’s one of their own: NSA […]

What We Should Always Forget About The Sandy Hook School Shooting

I don’t want to know the shooter’s name. I don’t want one precious inch of psychic real estate occupied by a coward’s legacy. I don’t want to see exposes on cable news exploring the creature’s intentions. I don’t care about why it did what it did. I want to leave that kind of speculation to the authorities. It […]

Rick Santorum Drops Out: Comedy Writers Crestfallen

Presidential hopeful Rick Santorum has dropped out of the presidential race, triggering a wave of despair among not only Santorum supporters, but also political comedy writers. “He said he was in this thing for the long haul,” lamented one Daily Show writer, “I’ve got a kid to feed.” With Rick Santorum out of the race, […]

Ron Paul Drops Out of Presidential Race and Challenges Justin Bieber for Internet Supremacy

According to the latest Rasmussen poll, Ron Paul in a statistical dead-heat with President Barack Obama among likely voters. Moreover, Paul does best out of the four Republican candidates among America’s largest voting bloc, self-identified independents. If Ron Paul would be the strongest competitor in a general election then why is Ron Paul in dead […]

Restoring Truthiness Writer Bill Dixon Signs on With Emmy Award Winning Comedian

Restoring Truthiness writer Bill Dixon recently signed on to write for comedian David Feldman’s radio show. Feldman is an Emmy award winning comedy writer and performer who has written for ABC’s Roseanne, HBO’s Dennis Miller Live and Real Time with Bill Maher, Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Martin Short, Triumph the Insult […]

American Rendition: Sign Up for Your Exotic Second World Detention Today!

I love this country but I have a few specific grievances. A few years ago, while casually flipping the TV channels between Junk Yard Wars, Pawn Stars, and Real Housewives of Arbitrary City, my attention was accidentally given to CNN. According to a gentleman named Wolf Blitzer (I can only assume CNN news anchors are […]

Donald Trump to Moderate Debate and Hot Dog Sales Challenge

In a surprise move, conservative magazine Newsmax has tapped TV person Donald Trump to moderate a Republican presidential debate in Des Moines, Iowa on Dec. 27. To assure the public he isn’t turning the debate into a media spectacle, Mr. Trump told MSNBC that he would make an endorsement decision immediately after the debate. “Rick […]

Rick Santorum’s Riddletorium: Religious Riddles for the Secular Humanist

During a meeting with the editorial board of the Nashua Telegraph, presidential candidate Rick Santorum took a minute to convey the opinion that the missing gaps in evolution are best filled by God: There are many on the left and in the scientific community, so to speak, who are afraid of that discussion because oh […]

Boehner Cries: What Politico Didn’t Know

Politico’s Caitlin McDevitt has compiled a list of House Speaker John Boehner’s Greatest Weeps. While honoring Neil Armstrong on Wednesday, Mr. Boehner lost his composure and began sobbing uncontrollably, prompting Politico to assemble a catalog of Mr. Boehner’s public displays of cry-babery. However, multiple sources have come forward since the Politco article claiming the list […]