CISPA’s Trust Fall: Trust Them, There’s No Catch

CISPA’s Trust Fall Trust Them, There’s No Catch

The government is here for you. They are asking for your trust regarding the sharing of your personal cyber information. You know, they want you to stand in front of them, cross your arms, close your eyes, and fall backwards. They will totally catch you. Okay, maybe they’re not “asking” but rather “forcing” you to [...]

When Annie Couldn’t Get Her Protection

Annie Couldn't get her Gun

Annie woke up one morning with a start, a sense of foreboding, downright dread. She realized she was in danger. She had been living without “protection.” We are of course talking about her constitutionally enshrined right to “protection.” I mean really, every woman should have a right to “protection,” right? What would she do if a [...]

The GOP: The Road Not Taken…But Why?

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GOP: The Road Not Taken   Many people are quite familiar with the poem, The Road Not Taken, written by the great Robert Frost. I myself have heard it quoted many times. Yet many only truly know the last lines, which read “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I — I took the one [...]

I’m Afraid of Naomi Wolf

Scene in Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolf

 Well, the election is over and everyone has moved on. The Republicans are evaluating their election strategy while learning to accept they will have to negotiate with the President in order to accomplish the nation’s business.  Feminist writer Naomi Wolf has a new biography … of sorts.  It’s not so much about her as about her (OK [...]

How To Fix Congress In 3 Easy Steps

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Congress is broken. I don’t mean broken like, “I dropped my iPhone in the toilet and now it’s broken” broken. I mean broken like, “I dropped my iPhone in the toilet and the combined electrical charge of the phone and foamy toilet water inadvertently opened a door to a parallel dimension of ancient evil, a [...]

Why We Need Assault Weapons

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By Bill Dixon Whenever there is a national tragedy where the culprit deputizes assault weapons in some senseless horrifying killing spree, all of a sudden the nation becomes skittish about M-16s. Some might argue that semi-automatic and automatic weapons have no practical purpose besides killing people and I am here to tell you that this [...]

Rupert Murdoch’s Pot Calls Obama’s Kettle Black

Rupert Murdoch advocates gun control

Twitter is Internet purgatory. It is where celebrity cowards go to apologize for their insensitive remarks. It is where congressman go to tweet their dongs to their mistresses. And it’s where victims of “epic Twitter battles” go to die. It’s also where the spineless elite go to voice their views. This time it’s Rupert Murdoch [...]

Huckabee: Schools ‘A Place of Carnage’ Because Secularists Don’t Have Values

Huckabee - Schools A Place of Carnage Because Secularists Don’t Have Values

According to Mike Huckabee, God was kicked out of school. Now remember, his God is “an awesome God, He reigns from heaven above, with wisdom, power, and love, [his God] is an awesome God.” Additionally, “when the sky was starless, in the void of the night, He spoke into the darkness, and created the light.” [...]

What We Should Always Forget About The Sandy Hook School Shooting

A U.S. flag flies at half staff in front of the Reed Intermediate School in Newtown, Connecticut, following a shooting nearby at Sandy Hook Elementary School

I don’t want to know the shooter’s name. I don’t want one precious inch of psychic real estate occupied by a coward’s legacy. I don’t want to see exposes on cable news exploring the creature’s intentions. I don’t care about why it did what it did. I want to leave that kind of speculation to the authorities. It [...]

Open Letter To Those Who Signed Petition To Secede From U.S.

Texas-Secede

Dear Crybabies, Recently, your guy lost a presidential election. I know, I know— total bummer. So, being the American patriot that you are, you have signed a petition compelling your state to secede from the United States. So let me understand, your boyfriend wasn’t picked to be captain of the high school football team so now you’re going to [...]