Election Poisoning

A man stumbles into a hospital and claims he’s dying. A doctor looks him over, puts him in a bed and then calls over a nurse, shaking his head. The nurse asks what’s wrong. “Symptoms include pride/shame in being an Iowan, anticipation for something insignificant, and a hunger for sound bites taken out of context. […]

iQaeda: The New Threat

Thought it was safe to fly at last? Think again! Apple has decided to throw its hat in with Al-Qaeda officially. After years of rumors, they said “screw it, death to America!” Or in this case, Australia. In a surprise move, they have decided to start blowing up their iPhones on planes. I wish I […]

Union Leader: Newt? Meh, We Could Do Worse

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that you, dear reader, are paying attention to the news. I know, it’s bit of a leap, seeing as how you’re here reading this. But if the assumption is true, I’m going to suppose that you also read the news story title “N.H. Union […]

Fowl Theories: Peace and Liberty Pardoned By Obama

When I say Peace and Liberty, what do you think of? No, it’s not the political party named the Peace and Liberty party, which is a bit of a letdown for them. These days, it’s the name of the two newest turkeys invited to the Mt Vernon Turkey Ranch. Peace and Liberty, the given names […]

Romney: Just Accept It

Mitt Romney, a name you undoubtedly know by now if you’ve bothered to turn on the TV. A name that pretty much says exactly what it means for America: a bland white guy. But given the race so far, that’s exactly what America didn’t know it wanted. “We figured America was ready for another white […]

Congress: A Dead Bird and a Dingle-berry

I have come up with an image of Congress based on the news lately. For anyone who’s ever had a cat, you’re probably familiar with this one. Imagine if you will a cat trotting into the house carrying a dead bird in its mouth and a dingle-berry on its ass. It expects you to be […]

Bachmann to Socialists: You Dirty Republicans!

Proving that she is truly a parrot, Michelle Bachmann latched onto a buzz word and is now applying it to every situation that pops up. Even though she doesn’t understand the word. Yes. Socialism. That very, very dirty word that Republicans like to label on people who disagree with them. It’s really a foul disgusting […]

Newt Gingrich: GOP’s True Nomination

In a rare show of tenacity, but common show of obliviousness, Newt Gingrich continues his campaign for the GOP nomination. You have to admire it, if you know the secret logic behind it; he’s really the GOP’s predetermined candidate. Sure, you may question it. I know I did, but a night with my buddy Jack […]

Conan O’Brien Attacks Defense of Marriage: Team Coco Declares War

  The sanctity of marriage is under attack in this nation, just like our children are waging a war on obesity and the 99% are going all “class war” on the 1%. The slippery slope that defenders of straight marriage warned us about has happened; a comedian just wed a gay couple. Now if that […]

Tea Party Attempts to Break Up With Bachmann

The Tea Party has officially dumped Michelle Bachmann. Well, officially “attempted” to dump Bachmann, with little success. Like a crazy stereotype girlfriend, Bachmann has ignored the break-up and continues to press on. It was a single sided break-up from what associates say, delivered by text message in a public place. To Bachmann, it came out […]