The Entity, 2012. Vote with your Tomatoes.

Corporations are people, my friend, and taxation without representation is the cry of the people. That is why the Supreme Court of the United States finally granted the corporate person the right to spend unlimited funds in time for the 2012 Presidential election. The corporate person will never again go un-represented. Indeed, it’s safe to […]

New More Potent Zombies

Don’t you know me man? I’m Blue Boy It was “a scene ripped out of a zombie movie.”  Police shot dead a man who was ripping off the face of a victim and only growled when ordered to stop. Clearly, this couldn’t have been just any zombie movie, but a new, more potent zombie movie. […]

Republican Women Open Up (Their, ahem … )

Republican women are open about their opposition to government run anything.  They want the government out of the auto, banking and oil industries.  They want government out of the schools and hospitals.  But where do they want government? Our friends at asked this question recently of a handful of Republican women and not so […]

Dearth of Taxes

“Death and taxes are inevitable,” my accountant told me.  “Are you sure I can’t just write off, I don’t know, the last decade or two of my life?” I replied. “I think that would bring things back into the black (I’ve been told I look good in black)”. Well, it’s tax day and for nearly […]

Capturing the Dog Vote

When it was pitched, it was the ultimate high concept movie, President Lincoln’s Doctor’s Dog.  It never made it past concept, but obviously, the writers were onto something.  People like Lincoln, they like doctors, and they love dogs, but they don’t always like “president,” and that brings us to this presidential election. What dog will […]

Pride and Prejudice, and Political Zombies

He has ‘only the fondest of sentiments for sport’ and counts ‘amongst my closest friends several who own NASCAR teams.’ In all ways, he’s a proper gentleman about whom the only rumors are those of his wealth.  When chiding hecklers as to the personhood of corporations, he calls them “friend.” On a vigorous run, hardly […]

Obama Unveils Strategy for Women’s Vote

In the 2008 campaign, then candidate Obama was polling well among women but looked to shore up support among men. His strategy was to play basketball with U.S. forces, sinking nothing-but-net three pointers to the collective “Damn!” of the male television audience. The strategy was a success, however, in this election Obama needs to shore up […]

Bishops Shocked by Non-Rhythmic Sex

Their souls shall burn in hell. Last month the Obama Administration’s announced that family planning services must be provided by health insurance plans, including those offered by religious institutions operating schools and hospitals. The rule set off a firestorm of protest on the part of U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops which vowed to mobilize the nation’s […]

NSFW: Cannibalism Uncovered at PETA

Animal rights supporters were shocked when evidence of cannibalism was uncovered at recent PETA protests.  The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has long had an effective guerrilla marketing campaign raising awareness of the plight of animals used for experimentation and consumption. Their “I’d rather go naked than wear fur” campaign featured the nude pictures of mostly […]