Army Now On Pinterest, Finally

The popular social networking site Pinterest has recently acquired a powerful new ally. No, not Ashton Kutcher (Twitter4Lyfe) but rather the US Army. Pinterest is best known as a photo sharing, social networking platform, which until recently was best known for sharing cooking recipes, wedding pictures and overexposed photos of kittens sleeping in wicker baskets. […]

Mitt Romney: Put A Fence Around It

During the CNN Republican Presidential Debate in South Carolina, frontrunner Mitt Romney detailed his complex and nuanced plan for stopping illegal immigration, “It’s simple. Build a fence.” Mitt Romney went on to explain other topics in a similar fashion: John King (Debate Moderator): Mr. Romney, Osama Bin Laden is now dead and Al Qaeda is on the ropes […]

Rick Perry Says He Would Send Troops Back Into Iraq…and Mordor

During the New Hampshire primary debate Saturday night, presidential hopeful Rick Perry said that if elected president, he would send troops back into Iraq. As soon as he says the words, the voice of moderator Diane Sawyer can be heard saying, “Now?” Yes, Diane. Now. And that’s not all. During the commercial break, Rick Perry […]

Rick Santorum Compares Homosexuality to Polygamy and Reveals His Own Forbidden Love

While speaking to the 2012 College Convention in Concord, New Hampshire, presidential hopeful Rick Santorum engaged in a heated debate with students over the issue of gay marriage. Mr. Santorum, craftily engaging the Socratic Method, asked mind melting questions like, “So anyone can marry anyone else? Anyone can marry…several people?” and “So if everyone has […]

Campaign Ad Review: Ron Paul – Unelectable

This week, presidential hopeful Jon Huntsman released a 30-second horror film starring Ron Paul entitled Unelectable. The film, as many this season, starts with choppy video footage, AM radio-quality dialogue, over a music bed of spooky meandering piano that would make Trent Reznor jealous. The film follows Ron Paul from interview to interview as he […]

Mitt Romney to Build Largest Applebee’s on Earth

Presidential candidate Mitt Romney comes bearing gifts for every college graduate this holiday season. During a Q&A at a campaign stop on Thursday in New Hampshire, the presidential hopeful said, “What I can promise you is this – when you get out of college, if I’m president you’ll have a job. If President Obama is […]

American Rendition: Sign Up for Your Exotic Second World Detention Today!

I love this country but I have a few specific grievances. A few years ago, while casually flipping the TV channels between Junk Yard Wars, Pawn Stars, and Real Housewives of Arbitrary City, my attention was accidentally given to CNN. According to a gentleman named Wolf Blitzer (I can only assume CNN news anchors are […]

Rick Santorum Needs A True Conservative Man Makeover

Rick Santorum’s Super PAC has released a pro-Rick (‘prick’ for short) campaign ad that will be aired in Iowa next week, painting the presidential hopeful as a “true conservative.” The Super PAC that released the 30-second ad, Red White and Blue Fund, has put $200,000 up for Mr. Santorum. The hope is that this ad […]

Pa Liquor Control Board Decorates the Bathroom Floor

The above ad briefly ran on the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board’s website before a number of complaints compelled them to remove it. Apparently, it’s in bad taste to suggest to women, “Don’t you dare get drunk because if you do, you’re going to get raped and it will be your fault!” I also suppose it’s […]

Breaking: Rick Perry Campaign Video Stolen From MTV

Yesterday the internet was abuzz with the new Rick Perry campaign video. In the video Mr. Perry is climbing the delicate grassy slope of what appears to be a golf course, wearing his I’m-gonna-go-clear-the-snow-off-the-sidewalk jacket, complaining about homosexuals in chorus with a music bed of weak wind instruments. The video has been remixed and parodied […]