Newt Gingrich Wants to Patent the ‘Invented’ Palestinian People

Newt Gingrich Invented Palestine Palestinians Patent PendingDeborah Brancheau | Restoring Truthiness
Newt Gingrich is an entrepreneur with a Thomas Edison-like mind. After a barrage of attacks from Middle Eastern leaders condemning Gingrich’s recent comment calling Palestinians and “invented” people, Newt isn’t back tracking. No, no! He thinking ahead and trying to patent the ethnic group for future rights management, in particular naming rights to the new state of Palestine.

The idea stems from Mr. Gingrich’s recent comments in an interview that aired Friday with The Jewish Channel in which Gingrich stated:

Well, I believe that the Jewish people have the right to have a state, and I believe that the commitments that were made at a time…remember there was no Palestine as a state. It was part of the Ottoman Empire. And I think that we’ve had an invented Palestinian people, who are in fact Arabs, and were historically part of the Arab community.

Right. Technically. If you pretend that history only starts about 700 years ago. But as HuffPo explains the imaginary Palestinians, “have never had an independent state of their own. The region was ruled by the Ottomans for several centuries, and when the Ottoman Empire collapsed after World War I, the British took control of the area. It was known as the British Mandate for Palestine (AKA Palestine Mandate 1923–1948), and Muslims, Christians and Jews living there were all referred to as Palestinians” (info added).

So really, the British invented the Palestinians. And since the British aren’t American … Newt thinks he can “reinvent” the Palestinian people, or better yet he can find a new use for what he considers an otherwise useless byproduct of the political process. How laissez-faire capitalistic of him. Thomas Edison would be so proud.

He even rubber-stamped the statement claiming that he still “supports a negotiated peace agreement between Israel and [his invented] Palestinians.” But, of course! Naming rights, people!

About Deborah Brancheau

Deborah Brancheau is the Managing Editor of RestoringTruthiness.org, a political comedy website inspired by the political satire of Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Deborah's background is a smörgåsbord of experience. With a bachelor’s degrees in Anthropology and Theatre and a Minor in Cinema/Television, and a Master's Degree in Communication from the University of Southern California, Deborah took her heavily student-loan-funded education and became a sports-writing, high-school-teaching, graphic-designing, university-professing, broke-bum bastard. When that didn't work out too well, she refunneled her expertise into this new venture, RestoringTruthiness.org.