Rick Santorum’s Riddletorium: Religious Riddles for the Secular Humanist

Bill Dixon | Restoring Truthiness
During a meeting with the editorial board of the Nashua Telegraph, presidential candidate Rick Santorum took a minute to convey the opinion that the missing gaps in evolution are best filled by God:

There are many on the left and in the scientific community, so to speak, who are afraid of that discussion because oh my goodness you might mention the word, God-forbid, “God” in the classroom, or “Creator,” or that there may be some things that are inexplainable by nature where there may be, where it’s better explained by a Creator, of course we can’t have that discussion. It’s very interesting that you have a situation that science will only allow things in the classroom that are consistent with a non-Creator idea of how we got here, as if somehow or another that’s scientific. Well maybe the science points to the fact that maybe science doesn’t explain all these things. And if it does point to that, why don’t you pursue that? But you can’t because it’s not science, but if science is pointing you there how can you say it’s not science? It’s worth the debate.

Let’s break this down line by line, shall we?

“There are many on the left and in the scientific community, so to speak, who are afraid of that discussion because oh my goodness you might mention the word, God-forbid, ‘God’ in the classroom…”

I assume the “so to speak” is to diminish the credibility of the scientific community. It’s like saying “Just because they have doctorate degrees in science and agree almost unanimously on the theory of evolution, it doesn’t make them legitimate experts on evolution. Now my friend Roger, he installs hot tubs in Santa Monica. He thinks this evolution thing is a bunch of horseshit and I know he watches Discovery Channel like all the time. The man loves Cash Cab. Just sayin’, not everyone agrees on this thing.”

Also, it’s worth mentioning that God Forbid, God is the greatest potential Christian rock band name ever.

“…there may be some things that are inexplainable by nature where there may be, where it’s better explained by a Creator, of course we can’t have that discussion…”

Yes, there are some things that are “inexplainable” by nature. In fact, I would venture to say that nature does very little, if any, explaining of its intentions. I know that when a tree branch fell on my car during a thunderstorm last summer, I tried to talk to the tree that damaged my Honda but it wouldn’t even acknowledge my presence! So nature is not only “inexplainable” it’s also unbearably impolite.

“It’s very interesting that you have a situation that science will only allow things in the classroom that are consistent with a non-Creator idea of how we got here, as if somehow or another that’s scientific.”

I would argue that they only allow things in the classroom that are consistent with science. Once the Creator gets on the ball and starts a Twitter account or reveals him or herself in something other than a piece of toast, then maybe we can add a few chapters to the Introduction to Biology textbook. Until then, maybe let faith reside where it belongs, in the churches, temples, and mosques and the hearts of the good Lord’s followers.

“Well maybe the science points to the fact that maybe science doesn’t explain all these things. And if it does point to that, why don’t you pursue that? But you can’t because it’s not science, but if science is pointing you there how can you say it’s not science? It’s worth the debate.”

The above statement can be found in the new book Rick Santorum’s Riddletorium: Expert Level Religious Riddles for the Secular Humanist.

Well maybe Rick Santorum doesn’t point to the fact that maybe Rick doesn’t explain all these things. And if he does point to that, why doesn’t he pursue that? But you can’t because it’s not Rick, but if Rick is pointing you there how can you say it’s not Rick?

It’s worth the debate.

 

About Bill Dixon

Originally from Philadelphia Pennsylvania, Bill Dixon is a comedy writer and comedian residing in San Diego California. He is a humor columnist for PointsInCase.com and Editor and Founder of Dangatorium.com.