GOP plays prevent defense … Caveman porn … Jack and Diane

GOP plays prevent defense - Caveman porn - Jack and Diane

Republicans are set on playing prevent defense and ball-control offense until time runs out on the general election.

Thwart big plays from Obama, don’t say anything stupid on the pulpit, and coast to victory next November. Easy as pie, right?

One problem: You can’t play not-to-lose when you’re down in the polls. At some point you need to score points, which is difficult when you’re running a 1950s offense.

The Democrats are throwing with Tom Brady and the New England Patriots while the Republicans long for Alan Ameche and the Baltimore Colts. …

The only way I want a “Nuclear Iran” is in 5-ounce increments. “It’s the 5,000-hour energy boost to get you through the working day!” …

NBA players and owners have finally agreed on a labor deal. In the process, most fans agreed not to care. …

The new Webb Telescope may be able to look back in time and shed light on the birth and evolution of our galaxy. Or, if all else fails, caveman porn. …

John Mellencamp hails from such a small town that Jack and Diane are the “1 percent.” …

If you were a Supercommittee, what would be your super power? Mine would be constructive dialogue.