Iran: Slutting Up U.S. Elections AGAIN!

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Columbia University Radioactive BikiniLewis Mills | Restoring Truthiness

It’s become a common trend these days. Every time there’s an election, a so called “axis of evil” pops up in American politics. Information that was pretty much not important before suddenly becomes a lot more important when people behind a teleprompter start raving about it.

Such is the case with Iran. In 2008, the question of an invasion of Iran became one of the focal points of contention in American politics. Rumors of nuclear enrichment, and fuzzy photos from questionable sources reminiscent of CIA intel on Iraq started popping up. And our politicians ate it up. But the relationship seemed to just go its separate ways, and the passion cooled down. Pretty soon, we started flirting with Libya and anywhere else that Democracy was born.

But needing some attention, Iran continued its nuke policy under the doctrine of revenge for us going after younger democratic nations. Pulling out a radioactive bikini, Iran began batting its eyelashes at Israel again, hoping to get the U.S. jealous.

So it comes as no surprise that this election is now turning its eyes back towards the cute foreign girl with an A-bomb cup size.  Something about the crazy evil girls just drives our elections wild, or at least our politicians. So crazy they start talking about invading it, or more recently, funding secret resistance groups to overthrow it….right in front of a camera with millions in the audience. Including Iran.

Secret’s blown; they know we’re thinking about them. We’re totally in love with Iran, no lies. So in love we just have to make it ours. But they got some funky views on marriage, so we’ll just mull around a regime change relationship rather than a wedding, mess around with the domicile a bit. Nothing too drastic, maybe just moving the furniture, getting rid of the old crap, bringing in the new, tearing down a wall or 200,000. Just like we did with Iraq and Afghanistan. I’m sure Iran would look great with some Halliburton hair tips.

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