5 Things You Missed At The Hearing On The State Of Religious Liberty In The United States

5 Things You Missed At The Hearing On The State Of Religious Liberty In The United States

Christopher was exercising his religious liberty, Jefferson is a god-fearing, Christian, socialist, Leninist and marriage equality is like desecrating the Eucharist. If you were watching The Hearing on The State Of Religious Liberty In The United States today, that’s just a smidge of what you learned. We know you were way to busy with a real life to watch this drivel so we did it for you and pull out the five things that caught our eye.

Franks:  Columbus Was “Exercising His Religious Liberty”

Chairman Trent Franks reminded all in attendance that Christopher Columbus was just “exercising his religious liberty when he went out into the oceans to find the New World and came upon America.”

Franks: Jefferson Is A Good Upstanding Christian Man BUT Jeffersonian Ideas Are Un-American, Soviet Institutions

As Franks so aptly points out, the Thomas-Jefferson-coined phrase “Separation of Church and State” appears nowhere in US Constitution but appears in Soviet Constitution. Take that, Judeo-Christian-based socialist ideas!

May: Breach Of Parental Rights Is Breach Of Religious Liberty

Witness Colby May from the American Center for Law and Justice was intent on explaining that a 16-year-old case called Brown v. Hot, Sexy & Safer Productions (1995) regarding parental rights in their child’s education is evidence that religious liberty is deteriorating today.

King: Same Sex Marriage Is Like Executing Prisoners

Rep. Steve King’s marriage must be an interesting one considering his assertion that forcing someone to perform a same sex marriage is like forcing prison wardens to execute prisoners when they conscientiously object because, you know, executions and marriages are very similar.

King & Bishop Give Heathens A Lesson In Sacraments

According to King, there is an active effort by “an individual or group of individuals” to desecrate the sacrament of marriage. He claims it would be no different than someone desecrating the sacrament of the Eucharist. “It’s a direct affront to The Church.”

So now we’re apparently going to ban people everywhere from eating tasteless wafers unless of course they believe they are eating the son of God’s flesh.

Jordan: Groups That Detest Gay People Are Hurt That Some Are Calling Them Hate Groups

Rep. Jim Jordan was concerned for groups that have called the LGBT community animals, abominations, barbarians, etc. who are hurt and upset that supposedly some supporters of gay rights have referred to them as hate groups.

About Deborah Brancheau

Deborah Brancheau is the Managing Editor of RestoringTruthiness.org, a political comedy website inspired by the political satire of Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Deborah's background is a smörgåsbord of experience. With a bachelor’s degrees in Anthropology and Theatre and a Minor in Cinema/Television, and a Master's Degree in Communication from the University of Southern California, Deborah took her heavily student-loan-funded education and became a sports-writing, high-school-teaching, graphic-designing, university-professing, broke-bum bastard. When that didn't work out too well, she refunneled her expertise into this new venture, RestoringTruthiness.org.