Barack The Rock Obama Punches Banker in the Face

Barack The Rock Obama Punches Banker in the Face

When your approval ratings are low, just point to the guy that people seem to hate even more than you. But yet, don’t extend your index finger; keep all your fingers bent tightly inward, and jab quickly in the direction of said person’s face. If you make contact, that’s great; there will be no misunderstanding as to who you’re referring to.

People fall for this kind of thing all the time, especially the other guy. So it’s a great method of deflection as demonstrated by our Commander in Chief, President Barack The Rock Obama, in this Onion News segment as he met with innocent, doe-eyed investment banker Ron Milner.

After punching Milner in the face, Obama’s ratings soared from a meager 41% to a monstrous 93%. Like we said, just “point” at the guy that people seem to hate more than you. Point, punch, punch, point, whatever. It’s all the same just with a one less finger and little more chootspah (thank you, Mrs. Bachmann).

Obama later released a statement about the unprovoked, cheap-shot:

Sometimes you see someone and you just know that you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if you didn’t knock his teeth halfway down his throat. I don’t feel compelled to apologize.

Now if we could only channel that chootspah. Hmm…

President's Approval Rating Soars After Punching Wall Street Banker in Face