Top Ten Reasons to Support #OccupyWallStreet

Top Ten Reasons to Support #OccupyWallStreet

Many of you may be wondering what those crazy, raisin-eating, patchouli-wearing, drum-beating hippies are doing blocking the streets as you’re trying to get to your Non Fat, Half-Caff, Mocha Chai Latte on your way work. Well, through the use of nonviolent Arab Spring tactics, they are just trying to rid the country of the corporate greed and corrupt politics of the 1% that set the policies of our nation. We are here to give you the top 10 reasons to support the Occupy Wall Street efforts. Thanks to Think Progress for pointing out these facts. You may notice a secret message in this post.

  1. The Big Banks Suck: FDIC reports: Net income was the best for the industry since the $36.8 billion earned in the second quarter of 2007. JP Morgan Chase is currently pulling in record profits.
  2. The Big Banks Suck: Massive layoffs of tens of thousands of workers at Bank of America, Barclays, Goldman Sachs, and Credit Suisse. A record 35,000 jobs were cut from the financial services sector in Canada in September alone. Now 17 institutions are being sued in Canada including Bank of America Corp., Citigroup Inc., JP Morgan Chase & Co., and Goldman Sachs. DAAAAAMN, Gina!
  3. The Big Banks Suck: “The financial sector now accounts for about 30 percent of the economy’s overall operating profits.” In other words, they make almost one-third of total corporate profits. So if you want to get rich, I guess you better become a bank.
  4. The Big Banks Suck: The “Too Big To Fail Banks” are bigger than ever. Since the smaller banks have been swallowed up in mergers or they have failed outright on their own, there is no competition anymore, the hallmark of capitalism. Bank of America is now “affectionately” known by its members as Beast of America; Wells Fargo should be Whales Fargo; and JP Morgan Morgan Chase should be Mo-Fo-Sasquatch-Mutant-Half-Breed-Douchebag JP Morgan Chase. According to Reuters, “At the end of 2007, the Big Four banks — Citigroup, JP Morgan Chase, Bank of America and Wells Fargo — held 32 percent of all deposits in FDIC-insured institutions. As of June 30th, it was 39 percent.”
  5. The Big Banks Suck: Beast of America, Whales Fargo, Mo-Fo-Sasquatch-Mutant-Half-Breed-Douchebag JP Morgan Chase, and government-rescued, welfare queen Citigroup, as of 2009, issued one of every two mortgages and about two of every three credit cards.
  6. The Big Banks Suck: The banks own more than half of everything. Okay, not everything, just the heart and soul of our economy. Dean Calbreath of says, “Today, out of 7,700 banks nationwide, the top 100 banks control 80 percent of assets, including 60 percent at the Top 10.” Compare that with the 1980s: “In 1980, the nation’s 100 largest banks held 42 percent of bank assets and the Top 10 controlled 22 percent.” But, you know, those pesky regulations got in the way of the bankers making their money and increasing their market share. As of 2010, the six largest banks also hold assets that equals 63 percent of the US GDP. Compare that to 2006, when their assets were about 55 percent of GDP and 1995 when their assets were only 17 percent of GDP.
  7. The Big Banks Suck: The five biggest banks – JP Morgan Chase, Goldman Sachs, Bank of America, Citibank, and Wells Fargo – hold 95 percent of derivatives. Don’t know what derivatives are? Just think of them this way. When used properly and wisely, they’re completely legit and a good investment. When these guys get their hands on them: BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE (or the economy – whatever)!
  8. The Big Banks Suck: The Great Recession initiated by reckless banking behavior has cost American households “almost $20 trillion in wealth and nearly 9 million jobs. As a result, from 2007 to 2009, income for the median American household dropped by more than 4 percent, the largest two-year decline in 35 years,” according to Michael Linden of the Center for American Progress. It cost us wealth, we lost our jobs, we bailed them out, they did nothing for us, and yet they cry, “Class Warfare”?
  9. The Big Banks Suck: Big banks have little interest in small businesses. According to The New Rules Project, “The largest 20 banks, which now command 57 percent of all bank assets, devote only 18 percent of their commercial loan portfolios to small business.” Meanwhile, mid-sized banks devote 33 percent of their commercial loan portfolios to small business while small banks devote 56 percent.
  10. The Big Banks Suck: The one we’re all familiar with and probably most angry about. Get your vomit bowl out. According to the New York Times:

    Thousands of top traders and bankers on Wall Street were awarded huge bonuses and pay packages last year, even as their employers were battered by the financial crisis.

    Nine of the financial firms that were among the largest recipients of federal bailout money paid about 5,000 of their traders and bankers bonuses of more than $1 million apiece for 2008, according to a report released Thursday by Andrew M. Cuomo, the New York attorney general.

    At Goldman Sachs, for example, bonuses of more than $1 million went to 953 traders and bankers, and Morgan Stanley awarded seven-figure bonuses to 428 employees. Even at weaker banks like Citigroup and Bank of America, million-dollar awards were distributed to hundreds of workers.

So, did you catch the secret message encoded in this post? Get out your secret decoder ring kids! Here’s the secret message: “Be sure to drink your Ovaltine!”