An “unbiased,” Georgia-based, religious program has denounced the popular children’s franchise Pokemon as being demonic. The program, Club36, called the cartoon monsters “Oriental Demons” and says that they get more and more demonic as they evolve and that the monsters are actually named after demons.
This raises another question. What isn’t demonic? We reached out to the show’s producers at Watchmen Broadcasting this afternoon for comment. After a short delay in securing an aide to translate Georgia English to Normal People English, our no-holds-barred interview was underway.
Firstly, we were told that Digimon are also just as demonic as Pokemon, but less popular in Hell. In fact, most video games are demonic. The so-called Angry Birds? Angry demons. The Sims? More like The Sins. The Harry Potter video games are, quote, “triple demonic”, being demonic video games based on demonic movies based on demonic books.
Demons are everywhere in the media, it seems. Thankfully, the enlightened folks at Club36 were able to give us a list of the few things left in modern America that aren’t demonic. The news isn’t demonic (except for MSNBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, you know, the main stream media). Music isn’t demonic (as long as it was produced before 1960). Books aren’t demonic (as long as they’re in the Bible). Movies aren’t demonic (as long as they star Charlton Heston).
When asked what we could do to reduce the number of demons influencing our lives, a Club36 representative told us that we should donate to Club36 so that we have nothing left over to spend on products furthering the “demonic agenda” like iPads or toothpaste.