Koch Brothers plan to Clone Fox News Host Judge Napolitano

Koch Brothers plan to Clone Fox News Host Judge Napolitano

It’s true the Koch Brothers plan to clone Fox News Host Judge Napolitano. And all this time you were thinking that folks on the right were against cloning and all that sciency stuff. Me, too! I know, right? Well, apparently they want to clone themselves in order to save the country. That’s a good reason, right? I mean, if there are not enough people who agree with you, then just take those that do agree with you and make copies! Friggin’ brilliant, right?! Damn I wish I thought of that.

But it costs a LOT of money to clone people so you gotta be economical about this. You need a strategy. Realistically, you couldn’t clone the entire conservative base, who are we kidding, right?

So Plan B: First, you need to figure out a way to get a large group of Americans to turn on the government (if you’re not in power because otherwise that would be really stupid). The best way to do that? Strike the Fear of God in to them! Make them think that the end of the country is imminent if the current folks in charge stay in charge. The war in Afghanistan? F*** them! It’s those guy’s fault. The BP Oil Spill? F*** them! It’s those guy’s fault. The economy? F*** you! Pay me!

The fear factor coupled with the angry, lunatic, crazy, I-don’t-want-to-lose-my-friggin-penthouse-you-motha-f***** element is the key ingredient to firing up a base, most of whom likely haven’t seen the inside of penthouse just like many of the folks on the other side haven’t.

Second, you need to find the right guy to deliver this blizzard of bullsh!t and boy did the Koch brothers find him in Judge Anthony Napolitano host of FOX Business‘ “Freedom Watch” show. Gotta watch out for your freedoms being taken away by Barack HUSSEIN Obama!

Here’s just a snippet of the Judge’s recent comments to the Koch Brothers’ secret seminar multimillion/billionaire crowd back in June:

… So what does the government fear the most? I think the government fears fear. I’m afraid the government is going to take the property and the freedom of everybody in this room. The government should fear that we will take its power away from it and put it into the hands of worthy custodians of our freedom.

Jefferson articulated this when he said, “When the people fear the government, there is tyranny. When the government fears the people, there is liberty.”

So this is definitely the guy we need to clone! He’s got that fear thing down. Heck, he even did a FDR 180, under the knee, Globe Trotter Trampoline flip with his “I think the government fears fear” remark. Is that Zen or something?

Well, the Koch Brothers notice quality when they see it. And they are also quite aware of not only the importance the media but also their deficiencies with regard to their control over it:

CHARLES KOCH: [Y]ou know, we’ve talked about our competitive disadvantage, how we’re overwhelmed in a number of areas, but we have — and one of those areas, of course, is the media — and we’re overwhelmed. The media’s ninety-plus percent against us.

Damn that liberal media! What to do? What to do…

Oh, I know! Let’s break one of our central tenants regarding human cloning (or cloning of any type for that matter) and clone the Judge! And maybe some of our sponsors if we have the time.

Charles final farewell words to his unsuspecting audience:

So I hope you will stay with us and also continue to do your utmost. Because it isn’t just your money we need. We need your energy. We need you bringing in new partners, new people. We can’t do it alone. This group can’t do it alone. We have to multiply ourselves. Just as to change the media we just can’t have the Judge. We need to clone him thousands and thousands-fold. And so [applause], thank you so much. God bless you and God bless America. [applause]