What on God’s earth did Rachel Maddow do to deserve the anal acoustics presented so ineloquently by Barney Frank on her Monday night? While discussing the U.S. budget, jobs and the debt, Barney Frank appeared to sound the butt trumpet, yet offered no “excuse me” and continued on with his statement.
What? Did he think we wouldn’t notice that ass rumble? That cheek sneak? That Snickers blast?
Well some aren’t sure what they heard and decide to investigate. The hardworking journalists at The Daily Caller knew they had to get to the bottom of this (I crack myself up). They assigned two reporters to the case: Jeff Poor and C.J. Ciaramella.
I would totally quote what they said but they only wrote 107 words, 48 of which are the video transcription, and it took two of them to do that. If I quoted any part of it I could get slammed with copyright infringement for taking too much of the article and reposting it. So you can read their thought-provoking investigative journalism here.
Anyhow, this is serious business. Farting on TV is unacceptable. This is so important as to call the congressman himself to confirm his “quote” (AKA fart). FishbowlDC’s Betsy Rothstein checked into The Daily Caller’s fart journalism:
We grilled Ciaramella about phoning Frank’s office. He explained that he left a message to confirm a quote. So no mention of the er, purported wind? “No, I just asked to confirm a quote, which, y’know, is pretty much the truth,” he told FishbowlDC. ‘I didn’t think I’d get a return call if I asked straight-up:”Wondering if Rep. Frank farted on-air last night. Holler back.’” Asked whether he personally believes the congressman passed gas or not, he said, “Now, I’m an objective journalist, so I can’t speak to the veracity of the alleged fart. I’ll leave that up to the readers. I will say I’ve watched the video many times, and it’s hard to determine. Rep. Frank could have good recourse to the ‘it was the chair’ defense.”
Note to Frank: with a fart your proportion, might I suggest bringing a nice fluffy pillow next time? You could lower your fartage to that of a cushion creeper. Still a major whopper, but the sound level is far lower. It is often described as a walrus being suffocated by a 20 year old “Easy Night” feather based pillow*.
*No walruses were harmed in the making of this article.
- Daily Caller Has Two Reporters Investigate Barney Frank’s Alleged On-Air Flatulence (mediaite.com)
- Did Barney Frank Pass Gas Live On MSNBC Last Night? (businessinsider.com)
- BREAKING FART NEWS: Barney Frank (D-MA) Farts! (videogum.com)