How Infomercials Can Protect Schoolchildren’s 1st Amendment Rights

How Infomercials Can Protect Schoolchildren’s 1st Amendment RightsYou do not have the legal right to not be bothered by religion. You don’t even have the legal right not be bothered by other people unless you file a restraining order. Nevertheless, we must find a solution to this religion-vs.-First-Amendment problem that is now being demonstrated in the Candy Cane Case.

According to CNN, the Plano Texas School District prevented a group of elementary school children from passing out “candy cane pens with a religious message attached to it at a school party.” They also prohibited the kids from writing “Merry Christmas” on holiday cards sent to troops overseas and one girl’s pencils were confiscated because they mentioned God.

Now obviously the school does not want to be seen endorsing any one particular religion which makes sense. But that is still possible while allowing their students to exercise their First Amendment rights to freedom of speech. It’s called a disclaimer. Americans are used to seeing them all the time in front of infomercials:

“The following is a paid advertisement. The claims and opinions expressed are those of the advertiser and not necessarily the views or opinions of XYZ TV Station, its staff or its advertisers.”

So we could expect something like this:

“This is a paid advertisement. The claims and opinions expressed are those of God and not necessarily the views or opinions of the school district, its staff or its advertisers.”

See? Now we just need to make the font small enough to fit on pens! Problem solved.

 

About Deborah Brancheau

Deborah Brancheau is the Managing Editor of RestoringTruthiness.org, a political comedy website inspired by the political satire of Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Deborah's background is a smörgåsbord of experience. With a bachelor’s degrees in Anthropology and Theatre and a Minor in Cinema/Television, and a Master's Degree in Communication from the University of Southern California, Deborah took her heavily student-loan-funded education and became a sports-writing, high-school-teaching, graphic-designing, university-professing, broke-bum bastard. When that didn't work out too well, she refunneled her expertise into this new venture, RestoringTruthiness.org.