Fox News Distracted By a Flying Squirrel in a Pink Leotard

Fox News Distracted By a Flying Squirrel in a Pink LeotardFox News
While the world watched a 4’11, 16-year-old Gabby Douglas from Virginia Beach, Virginia be crowned Olympic Champion of the All-Around in Gymnastics after having lead the US Olympic Gymnastics Team to a team gold medal, Fox News was distracted by something.

No it wasn’t the bling, bling of the beautiful gold medal being placed around the neck of the smiling Douglas. Nor was it the glow radiating from Douglas’ infectious grin. They weren’t even distracted by the recent memories of the amazing athletic feats accomplished by the young gymnast known as the “Flying Squirrel.”

No, they were instead distracted by what that squirrel was wearing: a pink leotard. Game over.

Fox News’ America Live, guest host Alisyn Camerota said it best:

There was a proud moment at the Olympics yesterday when 16-year-old Gabby Douglas won a gold medal in gymnastics. The crowd went wild with cheers — though we’re not hearing the chants of “USA, USA” that we’ve heard in some Olympics gone by. And some folks have noticed that American athletes’ uniforms don’t carry the Stars and Stripes look as much as they had in past years. The famous flag-style outfits worn in years past replaced with yellow shirts, gray tracksuits, pink leotards. So how do we show our patriotism at the games?

That is the fashion faux pas of the century!

Seriously, Gabby, where did you get an idea like that? Your trainer? USA Gymnastics? How unpatriotic can you be? How dare you travel to London to represent the USA in the Olympics. LONDON, GABBY?! Don’t you know there aren’t enough USA people there to scream “USA! USA!” How unpatriotic of you!

Why couldn’t you have gone to Los Angeles in ’84 or Atlanta in ’96. Or hell even Salt Lake City in 2000 – hey, if Romney can save the Olympics, you can balance on an icicle! Patriotism!

And, damn it, I don’t give two shits if 2008’s uniforms (or even your pink leotard for that matter) were made in China by a group of 13-year-old girls with fake 16-year-old IDs who likely dream of the day they two will fly. Just maybe not in the same way you do. Patriotism!

 

About Deborah Brancheau

Deborah Brancheau is the Managing Editor of RestoringTruthiness.org, a political comedy website inspired by the political satire of Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Deborah's background is a smörgåsbord of experience. With a bachelor’s degrees in Anthropology and Theatre and a Minor in Cinema/Television, and a Master's Degree in Communication from the University of Southern California, Deborah took her heavily student-loan-funded education and became a sports-writing, high-school-teaching, graphic-designing, university-professing, broke-bum bastard. When that didn't work out too well, she refunneled her expertise into this new venture, RestoringTruthiness.org.