America, The Nation of Givers, and Our Bullied Bus Monitor, Karen Klein

America, The Nation of Givers, and Our Bullied Bus MonitorCapitalTrigga YouTube Channel
Lefties or righties, we are a nation of givers. From dishing out insults to doling out the dough, we can give it like the best of them. And nothing proves this better than the latest viral video that’s got America a-buzz. It’s a profanity-laced 10 minute video of middle schoolers taunting bus monitor Karen Klein, 68, with a stream of profanity, insults, jeers and physical ridicule. Aw, they grow up so fast.

Mostly the preteens threw out insults like ““You’re fat,” You’re so fat,” and “Oh my god, you’re so fat.” They also poked and prodded Karen with their fingers and their books as if they had never seen a 68-year-old grandmother before. Possibly their grandmothers have disowned them? Not sure.

Poor children. They are simply trying desperately to learn how to give it like the rest of us do. And since Karen was without her supply of freshly juiced insults, I figured I’d help Karen demonstrate to these children what it’s like to give out real insults. So, Karen, if you don’t mind, feel free to dish these out to the kiddos the next time you see them. Just remember, we’re teaching them how to give:

  1. Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
  2. If you were twice as smart, you’d still be stupid.
  3. I hear when you were a child your mother wanted to hire somebody to take care of you, but the mafia wanted too much.
  4. We all sprang from apes, but you didn’t spring far enough.
  5. Out of 100,000 sperm, you were the fastest?
  6. You’re so ugly when you popped out the doctor said aww what a treasure and your mom said yeah lets bury it.
  7. Jesus thinks you’re a dumbass.
  8. Do you still love nature….despite what it did to you?
  9. Your mother and father hated you so much your bath toys were an iron and a toaster.
  10. You are so ugly when you were born the doctor said I’m gonna drop it, if it falls it’s a rat, if it flies it’s a bat.

What’s ironic is Karen may never have to face these kids again. In the spirit of giving, Americans and the international community decided enough insults had been dished out. The video prompted Max S. to create a fundraising campaign on IndieGoGo in an effort to send Karen on “a vacation of a lifetime.” The goal was originally to generate $5,000. But as of writing this piece they have generated $317,996 and they still have 29 days left!

“Let’s give Karen a vacation of a lifetime. Let’s show her the power of the internets and how kind and generous people can be,” said Max, who also noted that Karen only earns about $15,000 a year as a bus monitor.

Karen’s daughter Amanda also joined the campaign on Thursday saying, “I have spoken with Max and with Indiegogo and we just want to thank you so much for your support … We are completely overwhelmed with all the support, so thank you.”

So maybe this is the kind of giving we should be teaching our kids? There’s a lot more warm-fuzzies involved and much less tears. Plus the kiddos seem very deficient in the insult department.

About Deborah Brancheau

Deborah Brancheau is the Managing Editor of RestoringTruthiness.org, a political comedy website inspired by the political satire of Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Deborah's background is a smörgåsbord of experience. With a bachelor’s degrees in Anthropology and Theatre and a Minor in Cinema/Television, and a Master's Degree in Communication from the University of Southern California, Deborah took her heavily student-loan-funded education and became a sports-writing, high-school-teaching, graphic-designing, university-professing, broke-bum bastard. When that didn't work out too well, she refunneled her expertise into this new venture, RestoringTruthiness.org.