WWJD? Heck If Cardinal Timmy Dolan Knows

WWJD Heck If Cardinal Timmy Dolan KnowsAnn Telnaes

There’s a war a-brewing within the Catholic Church: conservative Catholics vs. the moderate and liberal Catholics. The latest battle surrounds the 43 lawsuits against the Obama Administration concerning women’s health, oops, I mean, religious liberty to deny women’s health led by the infamous Cardinal Timothy Dolan.

As noted by the Washington Post, “the vast majority of the nation’s 195 dioceses did not go to court.” Many of these bishops and, in particular, the leadership in California felt that the decision to sue was premature. In fact, they are upset that they weren’t consulted and that a “broader discussion among the entire membership of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops” wasn’t part of the plan. They wanted to postpone any action until after their June meeting.

Bishop Stephen E. Blaire of Stockton, Calif., came out on Tuesday saying that some groups “very far to the right” are turning the controversy over the contraception rules into “an anti-Obama campaign.”

That reminded me of a super cute little cartoon animation by Ann Telnaes of the Washington Post of Dolan’s appearance on Face the Nation on Easter Sunday where he said:

[T]he public square in the United States is always enriched whenever people approach it, whenever people are inspired by their deepest held convictions. And I think on the other hand that the public square is impoverished when people might be coerced to put a piece of duct tape over their mouth keeping them from bringing their deepest held convictions to the conversation. – Cardinal Timothy Dolan

Sounds great, right? But when Georgetown University, one of the preeminent Catholic Universities in the United States, invited Kathleen Sebelius, the Health and Human Services Secretary, to speak to graduates last week, Dolan told CBS This Morning:

Well, I do think that’s a problem. Georgetown is the oldest Catholic university in the country. Part of Catholic identity is to be in union with the bishops.

When they would invite someone who has used the word ‘war’ in describing the relationship between the government and the Catholic Church, and when they would invite someone that is so dramatically at odds with one of the central tenets of the faith, that does bother us.

Really? Seriously, Jesus is turning over in his grave. Okay, not his grave but you get the idea. According to Dolan, Jesus would have armed his apostles with duct tape and had them slap it on anyone who used too extreme of a word like “war.” And then we wouldn’t have cable news networks like Fox News!

Damn, Jesus, why didn’t you do that?!

In reality, it seems to me that Kathleen Sebelius represents the Obama Administration and, therefore, Dolan and his cronies don’t like that. Not to mention, George W. Bush spoke at Notre Dame when the Catholic Church was supposedly adamantly against an actual war (you know with guns and soldiers and IEDS and death and stuff). And, of course, Bush was known for his out-dueling Rick Perry when it came to capital punishment. So how does Dolan reason through this dichotomy?

Where President Bush would have taken positions on those two hot-button issues that I’d be uncomfortable with, namely the war and capital punishment, I would have to give him the benefit of the doubt to say that those two issues are open to some discussion and are not intrinsically evil… [Wikipedia]

I have to agree with Bishop Blaire that this whole situation is appearing like an anti-Obama campaign.

About Deborah Brancheau

Deborah Brancheau is the Managing Editor of RestoringTruthiness.org, a political comedy website inspired by the political satire of Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Deborah's background is a smörgåsbord of experience. With a bachelor’s degrees in Anthropology and Theatre and a Minor in Cinema/Television, and a Master's Degree in Communication from the University of Southern California, Deborah took her heavily student-loan-funded education and became a sports-writing, high-school-teaching, graphic-designing, university-professing, broke-bum bastard. When that didn't work out too well, she refunneled her expertise into this new venture, RestoringTruthiness.org.