Ladies, Have You Been Vertically Degraded?

Do you have dark circles, dull frizzy hair, stretch marks, or back fat? If so, there’s an ineffective solution to your fabricated sense of insecurity generated by companies such as Unilever. On Wednesday’s Colbert Report, Stephen Colbert dissected just how fiendishly some companies will behave in order to generate a market for their products.

Just recently, Unilever conducted a study in which they found that 93% of women considered their armpits unattractive. So conveniently, Unilever proposed a solution: a product that would work as both a deodorant and some kind of beauty enhancer/protector. And it would do whatever it would do in just 5 days!

As Colbert points out, Unilever is on to something. “Why sell women a solution to a need they already know they have? … If you take the time to invent a new thing for women to feel insecure about then sell them the solution you’ve cornered the market (It’s called Vertical degradation).”

Colbert also gave a list of new suggestions for insecurity-based products. Watch the video and see if you would buy any of them.

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