Bill O’Reilly Inadvertently Proves the Theory of Evolution

If you smelled a whiff of bacon on Wednesday night while watching The Daily Show, don’t be alarmed. It turns out that a significant portion of the swine population has successfully mutated and developed wings. That perfume of pork you sensed was just a herd of pigs flying over the continental United States.

Apparently they were startled by the words of one Bill O’Reilly of Fox News’ O’Reilly Factor who came to the defense of President Barack Obama regarding a number of false rumors including those surrounding Obama’s birth certificate.

On Wednesday night’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart had to tip his invisible Yarmulke to O’Reilly for taking time on the O’Reilly Factor to dispel myth after myth. In a segment called “Tales of Principled Behavior,” Stewart gave credit where it was due. He showed a segment from The O’Reilly Factor, called Talking Points Memo, in which O’Reilly laid it all out explaining that:

  1. Obama’s academic transcripts from college and law school, his medical records and a list of clients he represented while practicing law, are all documents that have not been publicly released. And a president can do that if he wants.
  2. According to O’Reilly, there is no record of Obama ever being baptized.
  3. Obama never wrote a thesis paper so any claims about it being kept secret are untrue.
  4. First Lady Michelle Obama did not lose her law license; her license is inactive.
  5. Michelle Obama does not have more assistants than any prior First Lady.
  6. Obama does have a legitimate birth certificate. The state of Hawaii says they have it. And we have no reason not to believe that.

So has O’Reilly finally crossed over from the dark side? You be the judge.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Tales of Principled Behavior – Obama Birth Certificate Mystery
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