Zimmerman Will Be Charged With 2nd-Degree Murder Thanks to Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee [Update]

Zimmerman Will Be Charged With Something Thanks to Tweedle Dum and Tweedle DeeCNN | Deborah Brancheau
After Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee, Zimmerman’s two attorneys, abandoned ship yesterday after two whole days (count ‘em TWO!) of not being able to contact their client, Florida special prosecutor Angela Corey has announced that she is charging George Zimmerman with second degree murder in the shooting of Trayvon Martin.

You might say that the two incidents are not related and you might be right, but lawyers Craig Sonner and Hal Uhrig basically forked over Zimmerman’s playbook whining to the media that Zimmerman called Sean Hannity of Fox News, that Zimmerman had tried to contact the special prosecutor, that Zimmerman launched a website without consulting them, that Zimmerman hadn’t contacted them in two whole days, and that therefore Zimmerman must be suffering from PTSD.

“I know his phone works,” Sonner said. “He won’t return my phone calls. He won’t return my texts. He won’t even give me a collect call.”

In an interview with Anderson Cooper on AC360, the Tweedles were asked why they felt the need to speak so publicly about their bailing on Zimmerman. Tweedle Dum explained, “We want to make it absolutely clear that we’re professionals and that we have ethical requirements.”

Yes, they do. And one of those is called attorney-client privilege. Let’s let defense attorney Jose Baez explain:

It’s unbeLIEVEable that you would get on television and talk about your client’s mental state. What you have here, as an attorney you have an ethical obligation not only to not boast attorney client communications but attorney client confidences. Things you learn in the process of representing a client are considered confidential. So any conversations they had or non-conversations they had with George Zimmerman are completely protected and the holder of that privilege is George Zimmerman not the attorneys.

But here’s the prediction of the night from former prosecutor Sunny Hostin:

I’ve never seen anything like this. … As a prosecutor … I’m worried if I am inclined to bring charges, is George Zimmerman a flight risk? Can I get to him if I have to issue an arrest warrant? Now maybe my investigation is going a little more quickly. Maybe now I’m going to bring charges a little more quickly. So this really harms George Zimmerman in the eyes of a prosecutor and deciding whether or not to charge.

During the show Anderson was handed a note saying that the special prosecutor intended to hold a press conference regarding the Trayvon Martin shooting in the next 72 hours.

So I guess we might be able to thank the Tweedles for charges being brought against Zimmerman. I just want to go vomit now.

About Deborah Brancheau

Deborah Brancheau is the Managing Editor of RestoringTruthiness.org, a political comedy website inspired by the political satire of Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Deborah's background is a smörgåsbord of experience. With a bachelor’s degrees in Anthropology and Theatre and a Minor in Cinema/Television, and a Master's Degree in Communication from the University of Southern California, Deborah took her heavily student-loan-funded education and became a sports-writing, high-school-teaching, graphic-designing, university-professing, broke-bum bastard. When that didn't work out too well, she refunneled her expertise into this new venture, RestoringTruthiness.org.