Fox Affiliate MyFoxOrlando: Neo-Nazis are The New Civil Rights Movement!

MyFoxOrlando - Neo-Nazis are The New Civil Rights Movement 1MyFoxOrlando
“They say they’re not a violent group but they are willing to fight for their people should a race riot break out here in Sanford,” says MyFoxOrlando “Live on 35” on-the-scene reporter Jennifer Bisram, with anchors Keith Landry and Tracy Jacim primping in the studio.

“There’s another civil rights group in town. The National Socialist Movement,” says Ms. Bisram. Yep, that’s what she said. She also wrote an article about it titled “Civil rights group patrolling Sanford” on the news channel’s website which was taken down, replace with “White Rights Group Patrolling Sanford” which was taken down and replaced with “Neo-Nazi Group Patrolling Sanford”. That’s right friends. They’re Nazis. Neo-Nazis. They even have the matching best friend haircuts and super swanky swastikas to prove it.

So what gives? Why does Ms. Bisram think the Neo-Nazis are just another civil rights group? Well, It couldn’t have been their swastika-riddled website that she visited and demonstrated on TV to her loyal audience. And it must not have been the “Battle of Trenton, NJ” video ripe with Hitler hard-ons prancing around in Nazi costumes while “cock fighting” with masked mystery assailants located on said website.

So it must have been the convincing words of the group’s “commander” who spoke with FOX35 on Saturday about their presence in, according to Bisram, “the now racially divided Florida town where Trayvon Martin was shot and killed by George Zimmerman.”

National Socialist Movement

National Socialist Movement Logo

“A lot of people in the community, in the white community down there have been contacting us out of concern for their safety just because of racial tensions,” says Commander Jeff Schoep.

Translation: —-

No, that didn’t happen. None of that happened. People aren’t calling his stupid little pissant organization of vigilante douche bags to come save the day. He’s full of shit. But Ms. Bisram bought it hook, line and sinker adding, “They say they’re concerned for Sanford citizens should a race riot break out.”

Concerned for Sanford citizens?! A race riot?! Are you trying to gin one up so you can be the first one to cover it?! Or are you just as air-headed as you appear in the 10 seconds of dead air you spend staring at the camera at the end of the package?

“If they’re going to get racially charged incidents going,” says Schoep, “we have to be down there to represent white people.”

No! No you don’t! I’m a white person and you don’t need to represent me! In fact you DON’T represent me! So SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SIT THE FUCK DOWN, MUTHA FUCKAS!

Doubtless they will heed my call considering Ms. Bisram’s final note:

“At least 10 Florida-based members armed and dressed in all black will patrol the city of Sanford every day, everywhere from the retreated Twin Lakes community to City Hall. –- But, hey, no biggie, they gonna follow Florida laws, you know, Stand Your Ground.”

About Deborah Brancheau

Deborah Brancheau is the Managing Editor of RestoringTruthiness.org, a political comedy website inspired by the political satire of Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Deborah's background is a smörgåsbord of experience. With a bachelor’s degrees in Anthropology and Theatre and a Minor in Cinema/Television, and a Master's Degree in Communication from the University of Southern California, Deborah took her heavily student-loan-funded education and became a sports-writing, high-school-teaching, graphic-designing, university-professing, broke-bum bastard. When that didn't work out too well, she refunneled her expertise into this new venture, RestoringTruthiness.org.