Santorum for Dummies: Obama Allowed ‘Slaughter’ of Iran Protesters

Santorum for Dummies - Obama Allowed Slaughter of Iran ProtestersRight Wing Watch
We are going to attempt the impossible: translating Santorum. Before you say it! We’re not translating the meaning of the word “Santorum.” We all know what that means. We are going to attempt to translate Santorum’s actual words. I know, right?! We’re crazy like that.

While discussing the 2006 Iran Freedom and Support Act at the Greenwell Springs Baptist Church with Family Research Council president Tony Perkins, Santorum had some choice words about President Obama and his policies with regards to Iran:

SANTORUM: We need to embrace and engage the Persian people and help liberate them from the oppression. And when the opportunity came for this President to do so after we passed that bill, by the way over his opposition originally when he was in the Senate, he didn’t fund the opposition, he didn’t help and work with them, and when the revolution came in 2009, when they had the ability to topple this regime that was producing a nuclear weapon, President Obama sided with the theocrats, sided with the radical Islamists and allowed those pro-democracy people to be slaughtered in the streets and imprisoned and tortured as they are today.

Please, hold your outrage until the end.

Let us translate.

SANTORUM: I’m in a pissy mood because back in 2004 I proposed the Iran Freedom and Support Act which is just like what Mitt Romney has suggested but nobody put my pretty face on CNN or Fox News. I wanted to give money to the rebel forces in Iran, FIRST! It was my idea, FIRST!

And if I remember incorrectly, my idea was opposed by President Bush, and yet I powered through and we were able to overcome Bush’s non-opposition and pass the Iran Freedom and Support Act. I got ‘er done! And then … AND THEN, President Bush didn’t provide money for the pro-democracy movement and President Obama cut that money that Bush didn’t provide. Understand?!

WAAAAAAAA!

Basically, Santorum is just regurgitating the same old complaint that he’s made before, most notably on Nov. 12, 2011 at the GOP debate in Spartanburg, Pennsylvania. He even threw George W. Bush under the campaign bus even though Bush DID support his bill before its passage.

So what did happen? Well, according to CNN:

The Facts: Santorum did sponsor a bill to provide assistance to pro-democracy groups opposed to the government of Iran. The bill was passed in 2006 and became public law.

At a Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing on March 2, 2006, Santorum testified that the Bush administration did support funding for pro-democracy efforts.Given the administration’s recent commitment to provide $75 million to pro-democracy efforts within Iran, I intend to increase the level of funding authorized by my bill to $100 million,” he said. Between the 2004 and 2009 fiscal years, the Bush administration requested $151.3 million for this purpose, while the Obama administration has requested $115 million for fiscal years 2010 through 2012, according to a Congressional Research Service report.

So according to Santorum, requesting $115 million to “support pro-democracy efforts with Iran” translates to “[siding] with the theocrats, [siding] with the radical Islamists and [allowing] those pro-democracy people to be slaughtered in the streets and imprisoned and tortured as they are today.”

I need a copy of Santorum for Dummies because this translating thing is going to be hard.

 

About Deborah Brancheau

Deborah Brancheau is the Managing Editor of RestoringTruthiness.org, a political comedy website inspired by the political satire of Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Deborah's background is a smörgåsbord of experience. With a bachelor’s degrees in Anthropology and Theatre and a Minor in Cinema/Television, and a Master's Degree in Communication from the University of Southern California, Deborah took her heavily student-loan-funded education and became a sports-writing, high-school-teaching, graphic-designing, university-professing, broke-bum bastard. When that didn't work out too well, she refunneled her expertise into this new venture, RestoringTruthiness.org.