Fox News Red Eye: Tweens Love Ugandan Warlords and Hate Rush Limbaugh

Mashup by Deborah Brancheau
There is injustice in the world and it’s coming from an unlikely source: America’s tweens. As Friday’s Red Eye panel pointed out, tweens have gone crazy over the Ugandan warlord Joseph Kony. As Jake Fogelnest explained, “Tweens love Ugandan warlords.”

Totally! Move over Justin Beiber! Kony 2012! Kony is on fire right now with over 15.9M Vimeo views and over 67M YouTube views of Invisible Children’s new video that documents his atrocities. And the team at Red Eye had something to say about it.

What they had to say about it? F*** if we know. We tried to figure it out and here is what we came up with but chances are we “oversimplified” it:

  1. Kony is bad. He abducts kids and makes them kill people. We should care.
  2. The video is good. We learned about Kony. It shows you don’t have to spend a lot of money to spread an important message.
  3. But, the video is bad because it is oversimplified.
  4. Tweens are idiots because tweens were just as upset about Rush Limbaugh as they are about Kony. They knew just as much about Limbaugh and Kony before watching this video and now they have an opinion on both of them. Where is the justice in this world?
  5. This outcry over Kony is just another example of the “white savior industrial complex” because Teju Cole who likes to issue massive generalities about white people told us so:

This world exists simply to satisfy the needs—including, importantly, the sentimental needs—of white people and Oprah. – Nigerian-American novelist Teju Cole

So what did we learn today, kids? Do or do not support a possibly good cause because tweens hate Rush Limbaugh as much as the love Ugandan warlords and white people are shallow, selfish industrialists. Got it?

About Deborah Brancheau

Deborah Brancheau is the Managing Editor of RestoringTruthiness.org, a political comedy website inspired by the political satire of Comedy Central's Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Deborah's background is a smörgåsbord of experience. With a bachelor’s degrees in Anthropology and Theatre and a Minor in Cinema/Television, and a Master's Degree in Communication from the University of Southern California, Deborah took her heavily student-loan-funded education and became a sports-writing, high-school-teaching, graphic-designing, university-professing, broke-bum bastard. When that didn't work out too well, she refunneled her expertise into this new venture, RestoringTruthiness.org.