Donald Trump Delivers Knockout Blow to Romney Campaign by Endorsing it

Gage Skidmore

Photo by Gage Skidmore

The Donald Trump has endorsed Mitt Romney for President today at an event in Las Vegas. After a brief flirtation with running as a candidate himself, the Donald has decided that he is best suited for making a mockery of reality television and comb-overs and not politics. The news of The Donald’s endorsement of the Romney campaign was followed shortly by the news that the Romney campaign has suspended upcoming events and Mitt Romney is currently in Texas reevaluating the viability of the campaign.

All signs pointed toward a victory for the Romney campaign. With an overwhelming win in Florida and strong polling in the upcoming Nevada caucuses, the Mitt Romney express only saw green lights ahead. That is until the campaign hit a gold encrusted roadblock named Donald Trump. Political analysts speculate that The Donald’s endorsement of a campaign is like injecting HIV directly into your eye. Polling taken minutes after the endorsement went public indicate that likely voters would rather vote for an old shoe for president than for a candidate backed by Donald Trump.

When I attempted to contact the Romney for President Campaign for comment I was only able to hear muffled sobbing coming from the other end of the phone. The opposite reaction could be heard when I phoned the Newt Gingrich Campaign office. Celebratory shouting and the song We are the Champions by Queen could be heard in the background. Ron Paul’s Campaign Headquarters were unavailable as well, but the prerecorded message said, “You have reached the campaign headquarters for Ron Paul, the Pimps and Prostitute’s choice for President.” I tried to contact the Rick Santorum Campaign for comment also, but fell asleep halfway through dialing.

It seems the endorsement of Donald Trump was not sought after by any candidate. Quite the opposite is actually the case. For months, this reporter followed what I believed were campaign staffers from the Romney and Gingrich camps trying to woo the businessman in order to obtain his endorsement. Upon closer inspection of surveillance footage of the staffers entering Trump Towers for meetings with The Donald, I noticed the Romney staffers holding Newt Gingrich pamphlets. The staffers from the Gingrich camp were similarly equipped with Romney propaganda. It seems the staffers were sent to Trump Towers to try and secure the endorsement of the world famous narcissist for their opponent. Dirty politics at its worst.

It would seem that Newt Gingrich won the battle and has landed a devastating blow to the Romney campaign. Only time will tell if Mitt Romney can battle back from this most disastrous of developments. Many voters were willing to overlook the flip-flopping or that he is a Mormon, but the endorsement of Donald Trump may prove too much for this presidential hopeful to bear.