Impact Felt from Baltic Avenue to Marvin Gardens
Many of the protest leaders, who have christened the movement “Occupy Monopoly”, have been a part of the game since its inception during the Great Depression. For several decades, the iron, the wheelbarrow and the shoe have lived alongside the top hat, the racecar and the Scottish terrier in neighborly harmony.
Since the credit default swap collapse of 2008, a mysterious “banker” has called for foreclosures on such famous properties as Vermont Avenue, St. James Place and Marvin Gardens. The resulting drop in property values has led to massive unemployment, with many of the game pieces lying idle in their boxes for months at a time.
Shrinking Chance and Sunken Community Chest
With wages remaining flat at $200 on every lap of the board, combined with higher rents for houses and hotels, the game pieces remain locked in a cycle of poverty.
“It’s nae fair, I tell ya,” said the Scottie. “I canna even afford the rent on Mediterranean Avenue! Mediterranean (expletive deleted) Avenue?! The cheapest bloody property on the board? What’s this world comin’ tae?”
Recent changes in the political climate have also led to a shrinking support base from such traditional programs as the “Community Chest” and “Chance” cards. The shoe, carrying a sign that read, “KICK THE BUMS OUT!”, remarked on the situation.
“School Tax? $150? Why should I pay a ‘school tax’? I’m a shoe for (expletive deleted) sake!”
Go Directly To Jail. Do NOT Pass Go!
Despite the potential for arrests and police intervention, the protestors have vowed to continue to march in front of the Red Hotel on Boardwalk, the current residence of long-time game mascot Rich “Uncle” Pennybags.
The wheelbarrow, the group’s director of legal affairs, offered three pieces of advice for protestors who may run afoul of the law. “Resist without violence. Don’t drop the soap. Roll doubles.”
Board Games Express Solidarity
Characters from other board games have visited the Occupy Monopoly site to express their solidarity with the protestors.
“Some of the blue and pink pegs from ‘Life’ came by for a visit,” said the iron, one of the group’s spokes-tokens. “Professor Plum from ‘Clue’ gave a great speech about getting Uncle Moneybags in the conservatory with the candlestick. The pieces from ‘Sorry!’ wanted to come, but they were trying to get home and sent their apologies.”
When approached for comment, Uncle Pennybags declined. Instead, he waved the top hat and sped off in the racecar.
Until these protestors have had their demands heard, this protest, as with most games of “Monopoly”, has no end in sight.