This week, presidential hopeful Jon Huntsman released a 30-second horror film starring Ron Paul entitled Unelectable. The film, as many this season, starts with choppy video footage, AM radio-quality dialogue, over a music bed of spooky meandering piano that would make Trent Reznor jealous.
The film follows Ron Paul from interview to interview as he snugly wedges his foot into his mouth. The film pulls quotes from a newsletter Mr. Paul has claimed he did not write. Still the snippets are familiar as they have been recycled by media outlets for the past week on a nonstop loop. Hits like:
“…95 percent of black males in [Washinton D.C.] are semi-criminal if not entirely criminal.”
“Boy it sure burns me to have a national holiday for that pro-communist philanderer Martin Luther King.”
“I’ve been told not to talk, but these stooges don’t scare me. Threats or no threats, I’ve laid bare the coming race war in big cities. The federal-homosexual cover-up on AIDS”
And
“Zorgo, God of all, has sworn to return to earth in his spaceship and convert to fertilizer all who oppose him. His followers will be identified by their aluminum foil hats. That’s why I keep a roll of Reynolds Wrap in my suitcase. Also, a few pieces in my mouth so the CIA can’t hear what I’m saying.”
I may have made up the last part, but maybe I didn’t. Who is “I” anyway? I’ll just say I didn’t write it- Fuck it.
Spoiler Alert:
The last scene of this edge-of-your-seat thriller is Ron Paul storming out of the now infamous CNN interview, cut to title card, “Can New Hampshire really trust Ron Paul?” followed by the Hilton logo and Jon Huntsman’s name beneath it.
I think if you were to take that Sarah Mclachlan animal cruelty commercial and drop out the audio, add video distortion and a track from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo soundtrack, you would probably lock your terrier in the closet.
When you go through that much trouble to creep people out I think the real question should be: “Can New Hampshire really trust Jon Huntsman?”
Second Spoiler Alert:
Jon Huntsman doesn’t get to be president at the end.
Rating: 2/5 Stars: One for the Hilton logo and one for that awesome Nine Inch Nails song.
Related articles
- The Iowa Caucuses Are a Joke (newser.com)
- Huntsman piles on Paul (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com)
- Rivals Bash Ron Paul on Foreign Policy (newser.com)
About Bill Dixon
